Relationship vs Career

                                                 
                                                             RELATIONSHIPS VS CAREERS!



          Sometimes in life you have to make really hard decisions. Sometimes cupid and destiny send you on two different paths. Sometimes you come to a fork in the road and you have to decide what way to go. Sometimes one of those forks are love or career. You can ether go down the love road or the career mode. Sometimes your dreams collide and don't really mix well together. But why choice between love and career? Why not combine the two roads ahead of you? Why not have the best of both worlds? Why not have your and eat in to? I know this can be easier asked then answered.


                                 


          Say you meet this amazing woman or man and they are the one! They are the soul mate that you dreamed of and the one you will buy a dream home with, marry, have babies, and grow old together. Say you meet each other in collage then you graduate. You find your dream job! It is a great job with super nice benefits but for some season your partner doesn't like it. They don't agree on what you wanna do with your life. Maybe your job requires you working long hours or being out of town a lot. Your partner feels like you won't spend anytime together or will have enough time to build a family together. Sometimes our loved ones have different dreams for us then we have for ourselves. The subject of careers can gets pretty frustrating. You love your job but your partner doesn't this can cause conflict. Conflict causes you guys to fights. There you are at that fork in the road. Do you go the path of love or the path of career. It won't be easy but you decide to go for the job of your dreams. Your partner really loves you so he or she sticks with you but it isn't easy on them or on you. Your relationship isn't going so well but at work you are the star! You work hard and you get a promotion! You think this is great! I'll make more money so now I won't have to work as much. Now I can spend more time with the man/woman of my dreams. We can finally start to settle down!. Then BOOM! You find out due to this promotion you have move. The move isn't close so you will have to uplift your family and move closer to work. Your partner is so excited and proud of you but doesn't want to leave  the dream home that you built together. There is that fork in the road again. Which way this time? Stay in your dream home and don't take the promotion or Go for the promotion and may lose your true love? Look over your relationship. He/she is an amazing person who has supported you and believed in you. You are still madly in love with him/her and still want to take the promotion. What path will you take?



                          



          Here is another fork in the road situation. Love is the workplace! A lot of workplaces do not aloud coworkers to have a relationship or relations. You have a great job with great pay. Everything is going great when your boss asks you to show the new guy around the office and to train him. He isn't what you expected. He is very handsome and charming. As you show him around the office you both hit it off. When the work ends he asks you if you would like to grab a drink. It isn't a date and you guys are just potential friends so you say yes to drinks. You both have a great evening and you find out that you both have a lot in common with each other. You both share a cab and he even walks you up to your door. Before saying good night he asks if you would like to go out to dinner on Saturday night. Like on a date. You had such an amazing evening and you really like this guy but you know that you could get in trouble with work. This is a fork in the road. Do you go out to a nice dinner with this really charming and nice guy and maybe get in trouble at work or Do you decline the date and not take the chance of getting in work? You say yes to the date because it is only one date, nothing serious, and you really enjoy your time with him. The date goes amazing and you feel your self falling for this guy. You starting dating and it ends up in a serious relationship. You have kept it hush hush but then he proposes and of course you say yes! Getting married means you can no longer keep it a secret from your work. So here is the fork in the road again! Your workplace does not allow coworkers having any type of relationship. So you have to decide what path to take marriage or your job?




            



          Some people know exactly what they want to do in life then their are others who have no clue what they want to do. Sometime you get into a relationship where your partner knows exactly what they want to do and you are just all over the place. Sometimes there are so many jobs that sound so good to you that you can't choice what you want to do. This can be very frustrating in a relationship because your partner may not understand your problem. They know exactly what they want so they don't understand why you can't just pick a job type. They mite want  you to be a teacher and you want to be a nurse. In their eyes it is about what pays the bills not what make you happy.



               


         In life there are many cross roads you will come across. There is no way around it. There are hard choices that sometimes you just have to make!  My advice is always follow your heart. Do what you know is going to make you happy. If it comes down to a promotion or your relationship say to your self what is best for me. If your partner isn't willing to move for your promotion look over your relationship. Is this relationship less or more important then your career? Are you happy in your relationship? Is this someone you can't live with out? Is there any promotion opportunities  where you don't have to wake a move? Can you work from home? There will always be ways to move up in your career where you won't have to make a move. I will never understand this but if your workplace does not allow coworkers to have relationships remember you can always find another great job but you only have one true soul mate. Keeping living! Keep loving!

                                                                                                      XOXO WIZZY

Relationships VS Fighting

                     

                     RELATIONSHIPS VS FIGHTING

          In relationships sooner or late you are going to fight about something. That doesn't mean your relationship is going bad. Fighting is actually health for a relationship....if you fight fair. Their are rules to fighting fair. Rule #1 Never go to bed angry. Rule #2 No social media. Rule #3 Don't involve others. Rule #4 No low blows. Rule #5 Walk away. It's time to ask your self are you fighting fair?

                   

                    RULES #1 NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY



          The best lesson my grandparents every taught me was no matter how bad the fight you never go to bed angry. This lesson is an important one because you never know what could happen. Say I love you every night before bed because you may never get a chance to say it again. Think about how bad you would feel if you get into a fight about something stupid and silly then your loved one doesn't wake up the next morning. That is something you will regret forever. No matter how long it takes stay awake till you hit your breaking point and resolve whatever you are fighting about. When you go to bed with out resolving the fight you won't get a very well rested night of sleep. You'll just keep going over it again and again in your head then the more you analyze the fight the more worked up you'll get. You'll toss and turn and you'll be all tensed up. Wouldn't it be better to slowly drift off to sleep cuddling with the one you love then laying in bed restless with your backs to each other?


              
                               RULE #2 NO SOCIAL MEDIA

        I seem to see this problem every time I look through my new feed. I see couples all the time posting about the fights and negative statuses about each other. That is just silly to me. Why does everyone need to know about you and your partner's disagreements? That is personal and it should stay  in the walls of the relationship not the walls of your Facebook. If you have a problem say it to your partner don't post it all over social media. By posting about a fight you are just adding to the fight not mending it. You are just make a mountain out of a moll hill. No everything has to be so out in the open.




                            
                 RULE # 3 DON'T INVOLVE OTHERS


          Rule #2 and rule #3 go hand and hand! When fighting do not involve other parties. Do not go dragging family and friends into the fight because you may get over the fight but scene you brought other's in on the fight they will now have different options of your relationship and your partner. Never gossip about your fights with family and friends. If you are a social butterfly follow rule #2 and stay away from social media. Once you post something then everyone chimes in with their unwanted opinion then you start having a comment war! When you bring other people into a fight that puts them in the middle of a rock and a hard place. They'll feel like they have to choose sides then they'll still be mad at your partner because you made they look bad in their eyes. Again keep the fight between you and your partner.




RULE #4 NO LOW BLOWS



          No Low Blows! When fighting keep it classy. Don't talk trashy! Don't call each other names. Don't belittle each other. Don't pick on each other. Don't bully each other. Don't break each other down. Don't say anything that you will regret later. Words can really cut deep. Just because you disagree doesn't mean you have to be hurtful toward each other. Remember even though you are fighting you really deep down love this person. Saying negative things like " You don't please me in bed because you have a baby dick!" or " You really let your self go! You are such a fat ass!". Refrain from using profanity  like bitch, whore, asshole, slut, bastard, etc. Low blows are the steroids of a fight! They just build and pump thing up!



     
                           RULE #5 WALK AWAY!!!



          Sometimes fights can get pretty heated. The last thing you should ever do is put your hands on each other. There is no reason to get physical....EVER!!! When things are getting to the point where you feel like they are getting to heated up WALK AWAY! If you feel like the fight is getting to the point where your partner or your self may become violent then WALK AWAY! WALK AWAY, GO INTO ANOTHER ROOM, LOCK THE DOOR, TAKE THE TIME TO THINK, AND COOL DOWN! Once you both have relaxed go back again and try to calmly talk through your issues. When you are fight their is no reason the raise your voice or your hand.



                      



          My advice for fighting fair is simple talk it through as soon as you feel their is something to talk about. Don't have a problem and hold it in. If you just hold up your feeling the you are eventually going to explode into a huge unnecessary fight. A fight is just a disagreement. A disagreement can be solved but calmly talking about the problem. Keep your relationship off social media! Keep it in the relationship don't add other parties. Always say I LOVE YOU before bed. It doesn't make you weak if you walk away. If you can't say nothing nice then don't say anything at all. No couple is perfect! We all fight. We fight because we are all different. We are humans. Humans are passionate beings. You won't always agree but that doesn't mean you can't have a successful, happy, and healthy relationship. Just follow these rules all you'll be fighting fair! Keep living! Keep loving!

                                                                                                     XOXO WIZZY

             

Relationships VS Social Media

   

                RELATIONSHIPS VS SOCIAL MEDIA

       In today's world relationships a billion time more complicated! Social media can bring drama and issues into the best of relationships. Social media pages like Facebook and twitter can become a war zone during a relationship. I have had my own personal issues with social media so I know to stress the can add to a budding relationship. It is very sad but whenever miserable people see other people happy they like to try and break that happiness up every way they can. Here are a few signs and people to look out for in social media and some advice of to do social media right in a relationship!!

                    

        Social Media just makes life more complicated let alone your love life.  It add unnecessary stress. For example some couples stress over the whole "in a relationship" status on Facebook. I have had a couple females tell me they are fighting with their man because he hasn't conformed they are in a relationship on Facebook. They always ask me for advice. I always ask if he is talking to any other girls or if there are any signs of him being unfaithful.. The answer is pretty much the same " No he is perfect and would never cheat. He has said we are in a relationship." Leave the poor guy alone because he is right! He loves you and isn't looking anywhere else. He just wants to keep his business his business. You should feel special that he wants to keep your relationship all to himself. It also doesn't mean he is ashamed of you or isn't proud to have you as his girl. If it really is that important to you then put all about your relationship on your Facebook. The less social media knows about your relationship the better.

                              

        Social Media can bring out the jealous side in anyone. Social media can really bring insecurities into a relationship. If you are a jealous and insecure person 1) maybe you shouldn't be  in a relationship. and 2) Stay away from Facebook and twitter. It will drive you crazy. You will start picking fight over who your partner talks to and who is on their friends list. You probably already have issues in the relationship don't add social media to those problems. When you have insecurity issues you will over analyze everything on your partners Facebook. 

                                              

       I don't know what it is but males and females tend to come out of the wood work when they see someone is in a relationship. It is even worse when they see you are in a happy relationship! I had this problem a lot! My hubby is a charming and handsome fellas but he would never be unfaithful to me. That doesn't mean females didn't try their hardest to break us up. Girls ( I refuse to call them women) would constantly message my hubby. They would do and say anything to get attention and make him feel sorry for them. He has a huge heart and wants to see the good in everyone. A lot of the time that is his biggest down fall. He wouldn't say anything to these girls to lead them on and he would always tell them how much he loved me or how he would never leave me. Whenever he would try to stop talking to them and distance himself from them they would say they where going to hurt them selves or kill themselves. They only did that to make him feel sorry for them and give them attention. This put a lot of stress on our relationship in the beginning. It wasn't that I didn't trust him because he would always show me the messages and he never gave me a reason not to trust him. I didn't trust them! They would message me saying horrible thing. They would call me names and threaten me to leave him. They would say he didn't want me and I made him miserable. One time one of these little girls took nudes of herself and scene my hubby wouldn't take them she put on her Facebook and tag him in them. After that he blocked them right away. We haven't had any problems like that scene.

       Facebook is a playground for haters! You may not even know them but they will know everything about you and your relationship. The relationship Facebook haters are usually the friends of the ex or someone who want your boyfriend/girlfriend for themselves. You don't have to do anything to them but just being happy makes you their worse enemies. You can have the happiest and healthiest relationship in the world but the relationship haters can twist everything to make it look like your love is a battlefield.  They can take everything you post or don't post and turn it all negative. The thing is they will pretend to really care and they will throw back handed comments here and there like " OMG! You guys are still together! I didn't know you guys where still going together." In hater translation "Omg! How are you guys still together? I really didn't think you guys would last this long."

                            


        BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK! UNFRIEND! UNFRIEND! UNFRIEND! I see so many relationships that have tons of potential go bad because of social media! My advice is very simple ladies and gents....KEEP YOUR BUSINESS YOUR BUSINESS! If you see drama coming your way don't hesitate to block or unfriend those who want to cause trouble. Facebook is great is it used the right way. First you have to remove all the unnecessary drama and only post positive stuff about your relationship. Pictures are great and cute wall post are great. Never bring any outside problems like jealousy and insecurity into social media. If there are ladies/men who are getting too friendly with your man/woman talk it over with your partner and block them right away! Their only goal is to take away your happiness do not let them. My advice for the haters are unfriend them. I don't say block because you know they are going to snoop on your page! Let them snoop away and see how well life is going for you and your relationship! If you are one of those girls or haters who try to mess up a relationship SHAME ON YOU! My advice to you is let people be happy! If you want to cause pain to someone else you need to work on your own issues. Attention from social media doesn't make you more beautiful or a better person it just makes you easy to please. Laides and gents don't let Facebook, twitter, or even instagram ruin something good that can even be great. My best advice is to stay off of social media all together. Keep living. keep loving.


                                                                                               XOXO WIZZY

Relationship VS Family

  

   Family is very important. No family is the is the same. You may have a family with two dads or two moms.

You may have a family with 20 brothers or sisters or you may be a single child. You may have a big family or you may have a small family. You may be a single mom or dad. You may be like batman and not have any parents at all! You may have a wealthy family or you may be living pay check to pay check. You may have a family with issues that fight a lot or you may have a family that never fights. For the good and the bad family is very important. No family is perfect by any means. Family can also be one of the most stressful things in a relationship.

                                                                               

   I was born into a big crazy family. I grew up in a Baltimore row home with 9 people and only one bath room! I lived with my two uncles, my aunt, my little brother, my grandmother, my grandfather, my mother, and our dogs. My mom was a single mother scene my father left when I was 5 years old. My parents where divorced when I was 10 and I haven't seen my father scene. Scene my mom worked three jobs she was gone a lot so it helped to have a big family to watch over me while she worked. In my house there was a lot of fighting because of all the different personalities in such a small place. There was so much fighting that I hated being home:(. Even though there where so many people living under one roof money was a huge stress growing up. Bills where always paid late and we even lost a few cars because we couldn't afford to keep them. I even almost dropped out of school because my family couldn't afford my tuition. I even skipped a few meals because we didn't have enough food to feed everyone. As soon as I was able to work I took every job I could get to help out and get myself to graduation. No matter how much we fought when tough times rolled around like the death of my grandfather we pulled each other through. 

                                             

                                                                                   

     

    My husband Charlie's family was very different from my own. He grew up in a big house in Hamdan Maryland with is father, mother, two older brothers, and their cats. Growing up was far from easy for him. His oldest brother William who has a disorder called assburgers (Don't laugh believe it or not it is a real disorder. It is one of the lesser forms of autism.) tried to kill him three different times. The last time Charlie almost didn't survive. When Charlie was 10 years old he was placed into foster care with his brothers for a year and a half. After foster care Charlie's dad and mom decided to separate. Charlie's dad and his brother john moved up to Pennsylvania with his now step mother. Charlie's mom worked a lot so that left him alone most of the time which sent him into a very dark depression and a downward spiral. 

      Then fate brought us together! We really brought both our broken families back together. When we first started dating I told my husband that he shouldn't take it out on his brother John for what his father did. So we started slowly going up his dad's to visit his brother. Charlie talked things over with his dad and they worked through there issues. Now we spend almost every weekend up his dads. I have grown very close to my brother in law and my father in law. We where even both in his father's wedding. My little brother Dominic who is 10 years younger then me is very close to my husband and my brother in law John. They all love having their bro time together. I'm so happy they are all as close as they are. Charlie really gives Dominic a good roll model to look up too. We all don't get along all the time. We all have are fussy times. We lived with my family when we first started dating before we moved into our house. My family didn't always see eye to eye with our relationship because they saw it as we where always playing video games but they didn't see us behind close doors where we cuddle and love each other. My family caused a lot of stress early on in my relationship but instead of giving up we worked through it and it made us much stronger as a couple. Once we moved into our own place and had our own space our relationships with my family got alot better! Now when they feel like fussing we can just leave and go to home sweet home.

  My advice is that God gave you your family for a reason so try and find that reason! I know it hard at time but when your parents start to fuss at you about your relationship or just about life just listen to what they have to say they may have some point to what they are saying. Its hard to believe but parents date too so they have probably been there and done that so listen to their advice you might learn a thing or two. If you think they are wrong about your relationship don't yell at them show them! Show them that you do have a good relationship and your partner is a good person. Show your family that you are good for each other. Show them you respect and love each other equally. Show them what you have is healthy not something bad for you. Show them that you are listening to what they are saying and taking their advice. Don't let your family's issues affect your relationship. Talk the problems through with your partner. Remember you and your partner are a new little family just starting out so don't let your family influence your decisions as a little family. Remember seeing is believing.


Keep loving. Keep living.

                      xoxoxo wizzy